A major shift

Wow, it's not good to let too much time go between posts.  It is entirely too hard to catch  you up on all that has happened.  Without going into too much painful detail I will say that Sumo is no longer in the original home I placed him in.  What a train wreck that was...poor guy, and poor me!  And, poor gal who had to give him up when didn't work out, sheeeeesh.  But he is safe and happy now.  Praise God.

So my plan for several months has been to move to Kona, Hawaii to University of the Nations with YWAM (Youth w/ a Mission)  I want a degree in Biblical counseling.  God has used me in this type of roll on different levels for years and revealed to me about two and a half or so years ago that I would go to school and be a counselor.  Interesting... so, prayerfully after my marriage ended I started taking steps toward doing it.
Now, lately, there has been a shift.  A rousing of my spirit that I cannot explain.  There is another class at UofN that I want to take.  It is a 9 month bible course.  40 hours a week bible study, from Genesis to Revelation.  I have always wanted to know the bible better.  It is one thing to know it, grow in the Word, and have the gift of it...but to truly be lead in a deep study of it so that when someone has a conversation I am not lost feeling like, 'I don't know what he means by that' doing the head nod as if I do understand or having to say, "I don't know what you mean by that..."  but actually keep up in biblical conversations.  I want that.  I want to understand all that God did and gave us in His word.  So, here is this course...oh...wow.  But it is not required for my degree, is longer, and lets face it...I don't have the money.  For any of it, but...now adding an additional course that is not required ...well.  So I cannot explain it.  But weeks after finding this course, God starts...rousing my spirit is all I can say.  Drawing me to it.  I called the school to ask some questions that I have had and the gal couldn't answer all of my questions.  So, she gives me the email of the course instructor for the class I am drawn to.  He responds with complete information and by encouraging me to take this class first because, 'no matter where you go or what course you take next you will have the foundation of understanding the bible.'  It will only enhance all my other courses.  Gulp.  You know when someone speaks truth to you and it just resonates so strongly in your core because it is truth..well, I knew that was true.  So...then I freak out a bit.  "God...what are you doing??? The plan is January.  The plan is Biblical counseling."  I totally had to stop and pray coming against fear because I don't want to miss what He has for me because of my flesh. Because I am not prepared.  My not being prepared will just further His glory because ONLY in Him will I gain the money to pay for it and actually get all the ducks in a row in time to go.  September!!  That is 3 months sooner than planned.  I thought I had 6 months to get insurance, write my support letters, work on my mom's house, yada yada yada.  Not to mention, what is the deal w/ the IRS?!!  I have not been granted relief with the case I have w/ them.  Can I even leave w/ out that being resolved?!!!!!
So I am crying out waiting for the Lord to be clear.  To say to me "September" or "January."  So I know what to apply for- which way to walk.  I go to church this morning and the guy stands up before offering and talks about the "voice that you will hear behind you directing you, saying 'this is the way, walk in it' whether it is to the right or the left, you will know."  Is.30:21  Yes, Lord!!!  Open my ears to hear you!!!  Tonight was family night at church and I sat w/ that guy and my friend, and pastor.  We started talking about that and they heard my schpeal.  Both of them felt that I should apply for September.  That if it is NOT God's will He will close the door...and that the 'good decisions are made by many counselors.'  :) I realized this morning in church, too...that even tho I am scared because of the lack of time it gives me...that I do want this Bible class first.  I do want it.  I wouldn't have ever veered from the course, but I know that God knows what I truly want...and He is guiding me to it.  Amazing.  I want to know His word.  I want to really understand it, in all its detailed crazy goodness.  One step at a time....after this course...I can deal w/ the Biblical Counseling degree... God willing!!!!
So... on to search for grants, etc.  Oh, Lord....Lord!  Make a way, I pray.  Provide abundantly, I pray, as you never fail to do.  Astound me, God...that I may grow in the wonder of you and into the destiny I have waited 40 years to walk into.  I pray this... In Christ Jesus Name.